Well, since I don't wanna end up crying on the shoulders of my loved ones...I'm going to let my feelings out here.
As my best friends know, I have received shattering news over the weekend. My mum's swiftly losing her battle against cancer...the doctors have predicted her lifespan to be a few months. She may last til' next year...but the outlook is extremly uncertain. The only certain thing is, she won't see my 17th birthday.
At the moment its hard to tell what my feelings are. I'm depressed when I'm on my own. When I'm with my friends I laugh and joke as always. Then sometimes I don't feel a thing, like all my emotion has been drained and I'm empty. The person I most feel sorry for is my sister...she cries alot, but won't let me in. She closes up and wants to be left alone, then pretends to be fine. Then there's my dad. I don't know what he feels...he's too hard to figure out and to be honest I don't ever want to get close to him.
My future is uncertain, as I don't know how I will cope without my mum. Maybe I'll be fine. I'm so scared of breaking down and relying on everyone else. I want to be strong, I want to get through this and be able to look after my sister. I know it'll be hard, and I'm terrified I'll fail. Emma, Rosie, Zoe, Emily and Kim, you guys are the best...without you i could deal with this. I hope one day I can return the favour.